Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Reluctant Pooper

**This post is full of TMI**
I can't go to the restroom in a public place and poop like a normal person. This includes work. Earlier this afternoon, I finally had to go, after nearly 4 days of not . . (I warned you.) I walked to the restroom which about 200 people share on our floor and someone I work with was walking towards the door. I asked her 'You going in there?' and she said she was. I said 'I'll just go upstairs', to which she replied 'I don't stink :^)'. I said 'Well, it's the other way around'.

So I head upstairs. The bathroom upstairs is clean out of a Scrubbing Bubbles commericial; always spic-n-span and springtime fresh. Well, let me amend that, 'always, except after Renee has made a visit'. Well, wouldn't you know it, as I start to walk in, someone is making a sneak entrance behind me, so I divert and go all the way around the floor (it's a rectangular layout, with the bathroom in the middle and 2 entrances), and enter at the door across the way. Because if I'm going to have to poop among others, I don't want them to know what I look like. Does this sound crazy yet? Right. So, I make my entrance, enter the stall, wait for some flushes, hand washing, any kinds of loise noise and then finally manage to accomplish my mission. Then, I try to wait for all to exit before making my exit from the stall.

I know it's crazy that I go through all of this to perform a normal bodily function. I mean, I'm sure there are other women here that actually poop between the hours of 8-5, right?
But 'crazy' is something I've never denied being.


chesneygirl said...


Renee we MUST be long lost sisters! I've done the same darn thing!!! But I have never ever admitted it to anyone until right now. I thought I was the only one on the planet that would do something like this!

Still LMAO!! :)

Christa said...

I do it too! It's embarrassing, I don't care what anyone says.

Renee said...

Three peas in a pod.

beki said...

I used to be more concerned about this, but not so much anymore. I think I've finally gotten comfortable with the work bathroom. Anywhere else I have a problem. I hate to miss a golden opportunity, or should I say bronze.

klanglee said...

I had a nice laugh with this one! I used to have this problem, but after being pregnant and having to just flat out go whenever or wherever..I soon got over that fear very fast!! Just try a lot of courtesy flushes!