Monday, March 13, 2006

Turn-around

"It's a bad morning. I feel like I should be awarded 'Worst Mother of the Year'. The number one reason is I left John M. at the babysitter's when I knew he was sick. The worst part about it was he threw up the minute I walked in the door. Everywhere. The entire bottle of milk that he had drank this morning. I still smell like regurgitated milk, in fact. We cleaned him up and I thought about how maybe I should take him home and stay with him. He's been sick all week. First a cold, then a low-grade fever, now this. I didn't feel so bad about having him at the babysitter's earlier in the week because his symptoms were pretty mild. I had to take Anna to the doctor Monday and Mark's been out of town, so I've been taking off a little time each day to bring the girls to school. I thought about that, the fact that I have so much to do today at work, and the fact that I honestly feel like he's in better hands with the babysitter. She has him on a schedule, he eats more......."

This is a post I had started on Friday. It's Monday now. What a difference a weekend makes!
I was feeling awful about the situation when I started to write this Monday. I felt so guilty for having left my baby when he was sick. I was trying to rationalize why I did it, but it wasn't working. I think the bottom line was I was tired, tired, tired. Not having a helper, aka Mark, for 3 days apparently can do that to me. I'm no spring chicken anymore, you know.

The good news is John M. is better and back to his old self. As is Anna (she had the virus first and missed 3 1/2 days of school). The weekend was good. Nice weather and lots of time with the kids and Mark.

I'm trying to learn that I need to cut myself some slack and try not to feel so much 'mother-guilt'. I don't know if it's working but I'm trying.

16 comments:

Greta said...

Girl don't feel bad...htat's why I will get mother of the year award this year...i do shit like that all the time...i figure if it gets bad enough they'll call me...isn't that awful...i know...i'll be expecting my plaque this year...

chesneygirl said...

Sounds like we had he same week last week!

Adam was starting to get sick Monday but I pushed it off as a cold. Finally Wednesday morning I took a few hours off to take him to the doctor. Bronchitis. Man did I feel guilty for waiting so long. Then I couldn't decide if I should stay home with him or go to work...I did the latter cause I had SOOO much to do at work but felt horribly guilty ALL day for leaving him. On Thursday and Fridays he's with grandmas so I didn't feel AS bad, but still bad. On top of it all my husband was sick too and was worthless to me. (hence the lack of posts on my blog in the last 7 days)
The weekend made a big difference. We had good weather too. They are both much better and things are getting back to 'normal.'

Erin said...

Hey, you do what you gotta do. Glad to hear John M is feeling better!

Pirate said...

be happy and don't worry. 99.9% of mothers do great and better then they think. I'm sure you are in the majority.

Jamie said...

I've given the girls Tylenol, crossed my fingers, and dropped them off at daycare many times! You do the best you can. Glad everyone is feeling better now!

Beth said...

Well glad that all your kids are well..it is no fun having sick kids!! And glad that your weekend went good..sounds like you were able to enjoy it!!!

momyblogR said...

I'm so glad everyone is feeling better and the Hubbs is home.

Yes, PLEASE...do cut yourself some slack. Looking at the pictures of your kids, you are a fabulous Mother. No guilt necessary.

Sarah said...

Glad your feeling better. We all have those days

Anne said...

good luck losing the mother-guilt. let me know your trick, okay? and im glad baby J is much better. We are dealing with post vomit stress here too and it's not pleasant.

Suzanne said...

Glad your boy is feeling better! I know what you mean about the guilt, especially when your child is sick and you have to go to work. It's a terrible feeling. I hope that you can continue to give yourself a break in that department when needed!

Lisa M. said...

Don't fret.

Glad to see your rejuvinated and renewed after the weekend.

sick children, a husband MIA... I think that is more than enough...

A better week, I hope.

Nicki said...

Glad to hear you ended up having a good weekend and that everyone is feeling better!

Lala's world said...

ah that is rough!! we are good at the whole guilt thing....even to ouselves!!
glad everyone is feeling better!

holli said...

You know what - mommy guilt is the worst thing going. Being the only person in my world to take care of Faith, I have to make choices that make me feel like crap all the time, but we do the best we can. And I bet in the end, the fact that you love your children more than anything else will be the deciding factor.

Cut yourself some slack.. Mommies need a break too sometimes!!

hugs!!

Mama B said...

I've had days like that too.

Glad John M. is feeling much better!!

Suz said...

We are always the hardest on ourselves, HUGS

So glad that John & Anna are feeling better.

hugs Suz