They call me Yuck-Mouth

These are what my teeth aspire to be.
Unfortunately, these are my actual teeth.

Too bad I can't Photoshop my actual teeth. I went to the dentist today. I hate the dentist. Really. No kidding.
I hadn't been in a year and a half prior to this. I blame it on being pregnant last year and having enough misery to endure with that. So I made an appointment for last January and then cancelled it. Then made one for March and cancelled. Then July. Cancelled. So, I bit the bullet and went yesterday. I whined most of the time to the cute, little friendly hygienist. Poor girl. She told me I was probably worrying the little girl in the next room who was getting sealants put on. That little girl probably thought they were pulling all my teeth one by one. But really, I just had X-rays and a cleaning. I know, I'm a wimp.
The thing is genetically, I have good teeth. I've never had a cavity, so I've never had to get a filling and go through real pain. But I'm not an avid flosser. Or sometimes not a flosser at all. So, I get gingivitis. This is probably way TMI, but oh well. So, my visit today involved a lot of scraping with that little instrument from hell. What is that thing called anyway? There was close to an hour of the scraping, broken up by my whining.
Then came the polishing. I was hoping this would make my teeth look a little whiter because as you can see from the photo above, I need whitening! I don't smoke or drink coffee; I just have urine-colored teeth. What a blessing. The hygienist said 'no', the polishing won't make my teeth any whiter. But I could have them bleached.
WOW! I'll take one order of bleach, then. She said '$350 and insurance doesn't cover any of it.'
I take back my 'WOW!' and here I sit with beige teeth. http://www.sk2.aitai.ne.jp/~happy/YNcc812.html
Or maybe 'papaya whip' or 'navajo white'.