Thursday, July 21, 2005

Trying to notice the clouds

When I was driving home yesterday (I have about a 35 minute commute from downtown Baton Rouge to my babysitter's house), I was doing my daily worrying . . yesterday, it was about money for school uniforms for my girls, and shoes, and booksacks, and whatnot. Thinking of how I can juggle money around to get these things without adding on to my growing credit card debt. There were endless possibilities, not excluding the possibility of having a big BINGO win and getting some extra cash. Then, I remembered 'Oh, don't forget to notice some natural beauty; something you take for granted every day'. 'Notice the clouds, dammit!'. You see, sometime a couple of years ago I read a magazine article about taking time out to smell the roses, appreciate nature, etc. I'm always in such a hurry to do a million things that I rarely take time to NOTICE. I don't notice anything unless I have to. If someone else is driving somewhere, I never know how we got there once we arrive. If there's an email at work that doesn't shout out my name, I don't notice it. I have to force myself to notice. Well, in between work and home, there's a lot of beautiful, uninterrupted country sky that I should appreciate. Only I'm usually too busy worrying to pay attention. So, yesterday, I made myself stop thinking about the money-moving and look at the clouds. Look at the different shapes and colors. And think about how lucky I am to have this moment to myself. And just the ability to see . . to see the beauty that's around me. It always makes me feel better and a little refreshed. I tried to see if I could find pictures in the clouds, like my daughters do. That one kind of looks like a sheep or a bunny or a . .
boot. Boots . . hmm . . shoes. Shit! How am I going to pay for the girls' new school shoes?!!! Oh well, at least it lasted for a few minutes.

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