Friday, February 09, 2007

Mean Girls

It's starting with Anna (she's 11, in 5th grade). The games that girls play. The mean ones, where they talk behind each other's backs and make fun of one another. No longer all carefree friends that are too naive and innocent to play these games. I remember this from my school days all too well. I hated it. Apparently, I hate it even more now that it involves my girl. I know she's not 100% innocent in all of it, but I truly believe that she would never be hurtful and deceitful on purpose.

I know there's no avoiding the 'Mean Girls' and I may as well hold my breath and get ready for what lies ahead. And then one more time with Emma. But can't we just skip this stage and go straight to college?

17 comments:

Suzanne said...

I am so afraid of this stage, too. I hope that you and your daughter get through it okay. If you come up with any coping tips along the way, do share!

momyblogR said...

Oh my word, I know! I already have the crap with my kindergartener....There are mean girls in her class ALREADY!! God help me.

MarkD60 said...

I remember being 5 years old, in kindergarden. I sometimes got picked on by the big first graders. I remember thinking "I'll be glad when I get grown up, and all this stupidity will end". Well, I'm grown up and it hasn't ended. People at work talk about others behind their back and countries fight wars over the same piddly crap we fought over in the playground in gradeschool.

Toes in the sand said...

Oh I dread this! So hard to keep that momma bear at bay.

Amanda said...

I am really scared of that day too. We just have to keep telling our girls that no one wins by being hateful.

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martie said...

I see this happening in Amber too. I don't remember going through this at such an early age myself. I thought we were older....like in 7 grade or so. I think the answer is just to remind them how they feel when they are the one being talked about and made fun of and maybe they can understand better how the others feel.

Laurie said...

Oh, yuck. Wish there was something we could do to just make all that catty stuff stop!

Anne said...

ugh, not looking forward to this, altho one of lily's friends already at the ripe age of 4, has her moments as a 'mean girl'. the thing is our kids are going to run into meanness from here on out. they'll learn to deal with it, just as we did...no mattter how much it sucks. :(

Heather said...

Renee,
I am so not looking forward to that with my girls! It has started for us already...and mine is just in first grade! She is my ultra sensitive and comes home often with all the stories of the mean girls! It makdes me so mad...but I can't show that to her...I try to teach her that even mean girls have feelings too and she should ALWAYS treat others like she wants to be treated! I am totally with you that I know my girl is not 100% innocent, but I hope and pray that I have raised her right and she wouldn't be hurtful to others.
Hope everything gets better...I will be thinking of you! Take care!

Shash said...

Yes, I wish we could skip ahead as well. My oldest is in Grade 3 and has already been called names and put-down in the playground and once he was pushed around (in grade 2). It's terrible, all we can do is pray and hope that they will stand up for themselves and change the world around them.

mamatulip said...

Oh, man, I am NOT looking forward to this at all. I wish we could skip ahead to college too.

Julia came home today and said that some little girl at preschool pushed her in the snow today. And half of me was furious at the little girl while the other half was busy telling that half to calm down.

*sigh*

Krisco said...

I hear you. That sucks. I am so not looking forward to that...

capello said...

oh man, i totally remember every lousy moment of junior high. it was horrible.

you should read the book that movie was based on, somthing like "queen bees and drama queens" i think. i'm not sure though. i've heard it's like a handbook for parents, helping out at that age.

deep breathes, deep breathes...

Lisa M. said...

Have you read the book "Odd Girl Out"? The hidden culture of aggression in girls. By Rachel Simmons.

It is a really good read about dealing with it, and teaching our daughters how to handle it.

It is such a hard hard thing. My girl that is fifteen, I think is doing pretty good, but for a while it was horrible.

Good luck

hollibobolli said...

You know how I feel about this. While there's no avoiding it, there are different ways to teach the girls to cope/deal with it. And there are better/worse ways for you to deal with the situations.

I'm not looking forward to it - and it seems to be a never ending problem, huh?

xoxoxo

chesneygirl said...

*thanking God that I don't have a girl (yet)*

I remember those days too...they were HORRIBLE!!! Good luck to ya.