The 1st day of Pre-K, John M. version 1.0

by John M.

1.) They made us go to the bathroom, like 1 million times.

2.) We had 'mooncakes' for snack. I didn't eat 'em.

3.) I didn't pee all day. I didn't have to pee. (About 5 minutes later, guess what he asked me? You got it.)

4.) Me: Did you play on the playground?
Him: Not much times.
Me: Oh, how many?
Him: Just like 3. (I'm not sure how many times would have been 'much', maybe 10 or more).

Overall, I think he had a good first day. You never can tell with him because sometimes he's a little walking ball of negativity. Still, gotta love him. Here's to a good year!

Protected

Throughout Mark's entire sickness, one of my biggest concerns was that my children would be overwhelmed with unhappiness and worry. That they would always remember the Summer of 2009 (and possibly the whole year(s)) as a bad one; one that they would like to forget. I wanted so badly to protect them for the hurt.

So, I worked hard to keep them busy. Not so much with summer camps, as we've usually done in the past, but with activities that were new to them. And others that were familiar. We all went to the Angola Rodeo in the spring, and hiking at Tunica Hills. Jazzfest was a first in May, and we even got to meet Sugarland, one of their favorites. We took John to Orlando to see Mickey Mouse, and the girls were dying to see Uncle Keithy and Aunt Emily. We made a couple of stops at the beach too. Every time, I would see that look of pure joy on their faces (you know the one I mean), I figured that would remember this summer a little more fondly. I saw it while waiting for 'It's a Small World' and when they all got balloons on Main Street at Disney. I saw it when John saw his first waterfall at Tunica Hills and in the ocean the first day in Florida. He looked at me, and said 'Mom, this is beautiful, right?', while looking at the waves come in. All I could think of was that it wasn't nearly as beautiful as he was, as he asked me the question.

I hope Anna, Emma, and John do remember this time in their lives with a little bit of happiness, and know that we all came through it together.

Fishing

This spring and summer, John M. has turned into a little fisherman. Well, for about 10 or 15 minutes per fishing trip. He'll talk about an upcoming fishing trip every day for a week, and he'll be bursting with excitement when it's time to go. The pole is in the water for about 5 minutes, and he's 'bored' and wants someone else to man his Spiderman rod.

Mark said every fish he (as in almost 40-year-old Mark) caught last Saturday was on the Spiderman pole. What I think John likes about fishing is the one-on-one time he has with his Dad, or sometimes his Paw-Paw or Mike. He has to get tired of shopping with the three girls in his family, and wants to get a little dirty.



I look forward to him having more guy time with the men in his life. It's something he's missed out on lately, and I've learned he really needs. He already knows more about fishing than his mama. Maybe he'll take over soon as the one to bait my hook and remove the fish. As I've said before, I can't fish alone because all I do is pretty much 'man the pole'.

Back Into the Boring

I'm heading (hopefully) back into the boring life that I always took for granted. After the past 7 months, boring is what I want. Kids at school. Mark and I at work. Trying to balance it all. I never thought that was just what I wanted, or needed, but I've missed it.

Part of going back into 'real life' is trying to start up blogging again. It's something that I enjoyed when I started, and I want to try to keep it up, a little, at least. It doesn't matter if no one is reading it, I'll just do it for me.

To remember

I started this blog to remember; a diary of sorts (I know I've said it before...).

My lack of updating means I already forgot to remember many things.
Honestly now, there's not much I want to remember. I dread coming home in the evenings to sickness, depression and the unknown of what the day has to bring.
I never thought I'd see the day when I'd prefer to be at to work, rather than home.

But, (yes, there's a but) I choose to remember these things:

-Anna and Emma chipping in to watch their brother, taking turns sleeping with him every night so I can do my 'me' things.

-my mom helping with everything, from ironing, to babysitting, to listening to me complain all the time.

-the support of my friends, the offers of help, and loads of prayers

-my kids' laughter in the house, to make me realize that sometimes home isn't such a sad place these days.

Grace in Small Things Part THREE

Grace in Small Things, Part II

1.) Okay, the first is a big thing! Mark's PET Scan came back clear, which means the cancer has not spread to any vital organs!

2.) John's cute haircut today, that makes him look like a miniature man.

3.) So many special emails from friends that make me know that I am loved. I have truly come to believe that I could not make it without my friends.

It was a GREAT day today, for many reasons. Thanks to everyone who made it that way.

Grace In Small Things

I'm taking the lead from Jess and Chantal and joining in with this little project called 'Grace In Small Things'.

Please leave a comment and let me know if you found grace in something small today.

1.) A lunch spent laughing with friends.
2.) Mark sharing a little bit of good news with me on the phone.
3.) An email from my sister, reminding me that we're not polar opposites.
4.) A message from my cousin to say that we're in her prayers.
5.) Sunshine for most of the day! (this helps b/c I've been friggin' cold way too much lately!)

Stepping Up to the Plate

I'm not the type of the person who just drifts through life, not wondering all the horrible 'What If's?'.

-What if someone I love gets into a horrible car accident?
-What if one of my kids gets sick?
-What if I find out I have some dreaded disease?
etc., etc.

Sometimes, I think about these things far too often than the 'average' person should.

I was shocked none the less to find out last week that Mark has cancer. If anyone should have seen a big, bad thing coming, it should have been me, right? But I really didn't. We're not sure exactly what type yet, but we're pretty sure it's cancer of the throat.

He's dealing with it amazingly well. Me, on the other hand . . .
I really thought I was strong, but now I'm feeling not so much. It's so much up and down, I feel a little insane.

Good has been coming out of it though. I hope it comes out all good in the end. Please keep us in your thoughts. We're having to step up to the plate.

Can you believe it's been 10 years since we partied like it was 1999?

Well, actually I don't think I partied in 1999 either. Probably fell asleep WAY before midnight, with a just-turned-2 and 4-year old.

Said children are busy on their I-pods and cell phones as we speak. Weird.

I don't make resolutions, but I have been thinking about changes that should be made. I'll call them thoughtolutions, so as not to have them set in stone. And that will ease my guilt when none of them are accomplished.

1.) Stop it with the jealousy. If you're jealous, it means something's missing in your life, right, so do something to work on it. MUCH easier said than done.

2.) Tell people how much you love/appreciate/feel lucky to have them.

3.) Lose a little weight, why don't you? Nothing crazy, maybe 10 lbs before summer vacation. That's 5 months, get to it. (Today was not a good start!)

4.) Stop being lazy. That one's simple.

5.) Join something. Make friends. Get involved. (This will also help with #1).

Just things that crossed my mind this morning while feeling sorry for myself.

Hope everyone had a great New Year's Day. I spent it with my family; Mark, Anna, Emma, John M., my mom, my sister, Hawkeye, John, Katie, Andrew and Jenna, and without a doubt, realized they're the ones I'll always love the most. If any of you people above are reading this, thanks for making me happy.

Froggie

(If you're wondering, that picture above is the first one I found in a folder called 'Reneesframe' that Mark apparently made to load pics onto the digital photo frame he got me for Christmas. I was too lazy to go thru all of them so I picked the first one. It's mighty cute though, don't you think? OKAY, I'll work on #4 up there. YAWN!)