Beach Bums

We spent Memorial Day at the beach. The weather was nice, the breeze was great and the kids had lots of fun. Hope y'all had a great Memorial Day!

Mud Puppies

A couple of weeks ago, we had lots of rain. Which, in my yard, equates to a lot of mud puddles.

This is what happened next.

8 years down . . .

Only 6 more left.

No longer an elementary girl.

Sniff, sniff.

Yes, I did cry a couple of times on graduation day.

It's 8 minutes into Mother's Day 2008

and I'm reading blogs.

Can't sleep. I was looking back at my posts from last summer when I noticed I had done a 'John M likes' post. I haven't done another one of those in a coon's age (Lord, I'm no Dooce, huh?), so I thought I'd give it a go.

Some of my boy's favorite things at the age of 44 months:

1.)As of last weekend, swimming in the pool. At the mention of it, he starts jumping around, saying 'I'm so 'cited!!' and asking for his life jacket.

2.) Any kind of animal, including bugs. We went to a Wildlife Center today and he loved every second of it.

3.) The Wii. His new favorite game is Mario Karts. He loves to be Bowser because he's 'strong and has big muscles'.

4.) Singing in the car. His sisters and I have him singing all of our favorites, Kenny, Sugarland, and I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!

5.) Playing in the dirt. I think this one has been on the list for a while. Piles of dirt are his favorite.

6.) Riding his new John Deere tractor. He loves it.

7.) Painting, coloring, playing with play-dough, cutting, gluing, you name it. He's an arts and crafts junkie. He's also starting to write his letters. Woo-hoo.

8.) Oh! How could I forget this one? Picking flowers. Or cutting them with his little mini-scissors. He loves to pick them and give them to me. The only problem is the stem is usually about 1/2 inch long. It's hard to put them in a vase like that.

9.) Picking (and eating) blackberries. Yum.

10.) Watching 'Sky High', 'The Jungle Book', 'Cat in the Hat', and 'Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt', not necessarily in that order.

And can I say, that age 3 is my favorite age? He cracks me up on a regular basis. And he's so sweet, I could hug him all day long. He's even somewhat independent, so I can get some things done around the house. I really don't want age 3 to end. And he starts school in 3 short months. Unbelievable.

I love you, John M. You're my best boy.

What I don't talk about

I don't have a 'tell-all' blog.

It's supposed to be a diary of my life. Something for me to look back at
when the kids are grown.

But it's definitely an edited version.

I guess because I worry about the people that I know. I mean really KNOW that read it.

I want to keep certain things to myself, because if I share too much, they'll know that my life is far from perfect.

I want to put it all out there to share with you. Well, not ALL but more.

I decided to start tonight and share something that I 'don't talk about'.

I perpetually feel like I don't fit in. Maybe it all stems from elementary school. I can distinctly remember not fitting in, as early as first grade. I had friends, but I usually felt like I had to try hard to be what I thought they wanted me to be. This continued all throughout my school years, and ended up with me being painfully shy, even through high school.

I've outgrown most of my shyness; I've never outgrown the insecurity. The feeling that I won't be liked for who I am. The feeling that people would rather be talking to someone else. The feeling that I'm not interesting. Or smart enough.

At the age of 38, I feel like I should be more comfortable with who I am and say 'screw it' to anyone who doesn't like or accept me. But I can't shake the insecurity many times.

I've made strides with just being who I am, not trying to be something else for someone else, because I think that's what they want or expect or need. I have hopes that this will make me feel more accepted and liked for truly who I am. The truth is most times, it just makes me feel different. Alone. Misunderstood.

But, at the same time, in doing that, I do feel better about myself.

That will have to do, even if I don't ever really 'fit in'.

Grateful Friday

So grateful . . .

- that it's finally Friday!

- for those green eyes above

- for warm summerish days

- to be going on a mini-vacation in two weeks

- for packages of goodies coming in next week (that I ordered this week!)

- for my Agapanthus about to bloom any day now

- that there's only 2 1/2 weeks of school, homework, etc. left for the year!

- for getting to watch Emma at archery class yesterday. Yet one more thing my kids can do that I never learned how.

- for Anna's graduation dress problem being solved.

- for everyone in my family being healthy.

Hope y'all have a great weekend. It's gonna be a wet one here.